October 25, 2010

I think this has been the longest I've gone without posting since I started this blog.  I just haven't had the energy.  Monday and Tuesday I pretty much felt fine.  Wednesday, I started getting more achey (I presume from the Neulasta) - especially in my feet, ankles and calves (of course, they said it would be in my back).  Granted, Wednesday Al & I spent way too much time working in the shop - well until 6:30 PM - trying to get ready for the occasional sales.  We put up one of the two new 9' narrow profile Christmas trees we purchased on clearance from Sullivan's (an awesome deal), which should have been a breeze, since it was pre-lit; but, of course, I wanted to remove all the multi-colored lights from one of them, and replace them with clear lights.  Al, being the doll that he is, didn't put up a fuss but sat down with me to remove them.  IT TOOK FOREVER!  And that's pretty much all we had time for that day.

After we left the shop, we had to go to Shakopee to pick up Al's car that had been left the previous day for service.  Since we were so close, we decided to stop at Pablo's for dinner.  It was iffy - I've been battling with a little bit of heartburn from the chemo, so Mexican was a risky choice.  But I took it easy (steak fajitas) and avoided the hot salsa and fried chips (as much as I could).  But I was struggling to keep my eyes open throughout dinner.  I was exhausted by the time we got home (driving our separate cars).  My feet and lower legs ached like fire.  I took some ibuprofen, but it didn't seem to help a lot.  I had a hard time sleeping, because my legs kept aching.  Both of us had cramped hands, from twisting off those lights.

Thursday was the occasional sale.  I went in early to start putting the clear lights on (which was SO MUCH easier than taking off the machine applied multis).  My eyes were at half-mast most of the day, but I did manage to get all the light strings on -- except that the last string was faulty, so Al went to make the exchange at Target.  In between our Christmas tree decorating, we had quite a few customers.  I'm sure it didn't phase them a bit that we were not fully prepared for their shopping experience; they were mostly interested in the Fall and Halloween merchandise we had on sale, anyway.

Friday, again between customer sales, I got the Christmas tree decorated.  The reason it had to have clear lights is that all the decorations are gold and white.  I had meant to weave gold and white crinkle sheer into the inside of the tree, around the "trunk" to disguise it, but realizing I was not operating at full power, that's the first decision I made - eliminate the crinkle sheer this year.  I'm sure it would have looked much better with the crinkle sheer, but ... oh well.  Next year is another year.

Saturday was another busy customer day.  I hosted a Metal Stamping class at the shop at 9:00 AM before the shop opened, and that was quite fun.  We got quite a few nice Facebook comments about the class from some of the participants.

But Sunday might have been the busiest day of the entire weekend.  We started with 8:00 AM Mass at St. Nicholas, then I went to the shop.  Had pretty good traffic for a Sunday, due to the fact that the Second Alarm Chili Feed was going on at the Village Hall.  At 2:00 PM, when we would normally close up on a Sunday, I taught a kids' Park & Rec class on how to make Spooky Trees.  It was a very small class, but the kids had fun.  Kristy (head of Park & Rec) took a photo of them with their trees, and it was so cute she said she wants to use it on the cover of the Park & Rec book next fall.

After the class was over, my dear friend, Marcia Kirk came with her acupuncture needles.  We've missed each other the past couple of weeks due to scheduling conflicts, and I really felt it.  I honestly believe it's been helping my body cope with the chemo.  So we were able to have some quiet acupuncture time.  THEN we went to the Chili Feed for dinner.  Added a couple of bids to the Silent Auction items, then went home to watch the Vikings game.  

I was feeling overall a bit better by Sunday, but my normal 1-2 day bout with fatigue really lasted about 4 days this time.  Go figure!

Today I've spent my morning catching up on some bookkeeping.  I just reached a point where I think I can reward myself with lunch!  :)

October 19, 2010 - Chemo 5

Chemo treatment number 5 is now behind me, and passed fairly uneventfully.  Yesterday was my first treatment with Taxol, a "natural" toxin originally derived from the bark of a yew grown in the Pacific Northwest.  Thankfully, before they could mow down too many yews in Washington & Oregon, the toxin was also found in even higher concentrations in the fallen needles of a European tree.  Now it's "manufactured."  (All of these tidbits I learn from the marvelous Dr. B, who wants his patients to be completely informed, which I appreciate.)

My neighbor, Bev, gave me a ride to Ridgeview Medical Center yesterday morning so I could get my weekly blood draw at 9:30 AM.  After my lab, I walked across the parking lot to the clinic for my Dr. appointment and treatment.  After Dr. B reviewed my lab results and pronounced them "perfect," he debriefed me on this next regimen.  These treatments take 4 hours to administer (as oppose to the last four which took 2 hours), but the chemical is less toxic, and should have a lesser effect on my body's tolerance (although the previous treatments haven't been that bad).  


He also informed me that I may have more aches and pains in the upcoming weeks, but that Tylenol or Aleve should address them just fine.  Some of the muscle aches could be produced by the Taxol.  But because the Taxol doesn't inhibit the blood cell production quite as much as the previous concoction, the Neulasta shot I get 24 hours after treatment will boost even more blood cells.  This larger production in the bone marrow could give me more bone aches.  We shall see.


Anyway, he he continued to caution me that the Taxol sometimes causes an allergic reaction in the patient during the first 15 minutes of administering, and urged me to let the technicians know if I "feel like you want to die - you won't."  By this he meant, if I experienced shortness of breath, accelerated heartbeat, pressure on my chest, difficulty in swallowing - the kind of reaction I have had to epinephrine and that, I imagine, those with systemic allergies to bee stings experience.  In this case, they would stop the drip, give me about 30 minutes to get back to normal, and resume the drip.  By this time the body's chemical attach on the drug would have been spent, and should not reoccur.  But just in case, they add Benedryl to the pre-meds I get before they start the chemical drip.


Thankfully, the reaction did not occur.  But the Benedryl did make me drowsy, so I dosed off for a little bit during the treatment.  The good news is, that made the 4 hours pass more quickly; the bad news is, it gave me less time to read my book.  Knowing this was going to be a long day, I had the foresight to pack a few extras.  I brought the little footie-socks they gave me after my surgery a few months ago, so I was able to take off my shoes and still be comfortable.  I also packed a lunch, since I wasn't scheduled to be done until about 3 PM.  Even though I had a pretty big breakfast, I was thankful to have a ham sandwich and chips to keep me going.  Oh -- and I "borrowed" a few Milky Way snack size treats from the Halloween candy.  (Honey, I've eaten all the M & Ms, too, so we're going to need to buy more for the neighborhood kids.)


The rest of the time I just read.  Before I knew it, they were telling me I was done -- I finished at 2:45 PM.  Al was scheduled to pick me up around 3:30, so I just hung around and read some more.  Al picked me up and we came home.  I felt good.  We watched TV, had a good dinner, and I went to bed around 9:30.  Unfortunately, I once again forgot that the pre-med anti-nausea drug is a steroid, i.e. a stimulant.  I'm supposed to take a sleeping pill the first night or two, and I forgot.  So I was wide awake at 2:00 AM (which is why Steve, my wholesale rep, got an email from me at that hour this morning with a list of product I need him to bring to the shop today when he comes to visit).  I went downstairs and made myself a cup of cocoa and read some more, finally able to fall back to sleep at 4:30 AM.


I'm looking forward to a full day.  I have a sympathy arrangement to make, a wedding quote to get out, my monthly e-mail newsletter/blog to write and send, and Christmas merchandise to start setting up.  I'll need to close at 4 PM to go back to Waconia for my Neulasta shot, then drop off the sympathy arrangement in Chanhassen, then pick up Al at the Chevy dealership in Shakopee and meet our friends, Ann & Doug for dinner at Ruby Tuesday in Chaska.

That's the plan, anyway.  

October 13, 2010

Still very minor effects from the chemo, thankfully.  A little tiredness from time to time; a little heartburn we're managing with food choices and Tums; some canker-like sores in the mouth and on the tongue.  But, really, I hope it's all doing a much better job on the cancer cells than it's doing on the rest of my body.

We had quite a phenomenal weekend.  The MN State Florist Association had its Annual Convention this past weekend, which I attended for the second year.  Saturday evening was their first Awards Banquet, inspired by our MNSFA President's participation in a number of other state florist association conventions over the past year.  Al attended the banquet with me, and was able to meet a few of my colleagues/friends in the industry, from fellow florists, wholesaler reps and instructors.

It was a very emotional and inspiring evening, as MNSFA honored Todd Bachman with a posthumus Lifetime Achievement Award (you may recall that Todd was senselessly killed during the Beijing Olympics).  His wife and daughters were there to accept the award which, from now on, will be called the Todd Bachman Lifetime Achievement Award.  We also watched as 10 Minnesota florists were recognized for achieving state certification, a new florist certification program just instituted this past year.  A number of other awards were given out.

Then we were both shocked and humbled as Carver Country Flowers & Gifts was named the 2010 Retailer of the Year by MNSFA.  Nationally recognized floral designer, friend and instructor Ardith Beveridge made the presentation, and she was visibly emotional as she delivered her script.  (As I listened, I kept thinking, "It sounds like she's talking about us - but she can't be!")  Then, after draping an orchid lei around my neck, and presenting me with the award, she announced to the audience that, in addition, I was "waging a valiant fight against cancer, and doing very well."  I got another round of applause.  (Thankfully, I elected to wear my wig that night, rather than a scarf or hat.  There were a number of photos taken!)  :)

Right now, as I write this, I have CNN on in the background, and I'm watching as each one of those Chilean miners is raised one by one (21 have come up so far), and they all appear to be well and fit, considering their ordeal.  I know that some of them had health problems already, prior to the mine collapse, and doubtless the ordeal will wreak some psychological and emotional challenges for them in the upcoming months and years.  But it is unbelievable to watch each one emerge from the rescue capsule and to watch how each one deals with the rescue differently (some pray, some shout, some just hug their family).  I pray that they will each have a bright future.

October 8, 2010

OK.  The taste buds are going now.  Chemotherapy isn't smart enough to only go after cancer cells - it targets any rapidly replicating cells, which includes blood cells (which is why I need a Neulasta shot after every treatment to help stimulate blood cell production), digestive cells (which is why some chemo patients suffer from gastro problems), hair cells (which is why we lose our hair), and mouth cells (some patients get canker-like sores in the mouth and lose taste buds).  Up until now everything has tasted the same, but recently I've noticed my taste buds going.  I guess it's primarily saltiness - which is a big factor in the taste of food.  Yesterday Al & I went to Arby's, and my regular roast beef tasted like foam rubber.  Thankfully, the potato cake(s) tasted just fine.  This morning I had my favorite breakfast sandwich from Casey's, and it just didn't taste right.  I've even noticed that our beloved filtered water tastes funny to me.  I've been assured that, once the chemo is over, these taste buds will return.

I had my 2009 tax consultation this morning with the wonderful Cathy Steigerwald of Carver Tax Service.  Yes, I said 2009.  We filed an extension again last April (vowing it would be our last), with the expectation that we would get the taxes done no later than August 31.  But then cancer entered my life, and that deadline escaped.  I pulled together everything I had (not perfectly organized, but at least all in the same place) and met with Cathy this morning.  She's so upbeat.  She made me feel like I was the most organized person in the world, and that this would be no big deal and we had plenty of time (a week?).  I left there with a list of the 4 things I still need to get to her, feeling like this is one more hurdle that we're going to get over soon.

Looking forward to a beautiful day today and a lovely weekend.  Saturday night Al & I will attend the MN State Florist Association President's Banquet, and Sunday the shop will be closed all day while I attend the MNSFA Convention seminars.  Both of these are up in Brooklyn Park.  I hate to close the shop for anything, but this is a great opportunity to meet with my wholesale reps, reacquaint myself with the many friends I've made in the local florist community, and learn new things to help our business survive and grow in this challenging economy.

October 7, 2010

Chemo 4 hit a little harder than the previous ones, but still very bearable.  Fatigue has been greater and earlier this time, and I had my first bout with any nausea/vomiting yesterday morning, but it my be only tangentially related to the chemo.  I think it's more related to my allergies, which have been somehow exacerbated by the chemo. My tiredness seems to be all in and behind my eyes - my eyes are at half mast most of the time.  My queasiness is from all the post nasal drip (or fountain, as the case may be) filling my stomach and throat with constant phlegm (I remember when that was a spelling word in 7th grade).  So, yesterday when I brushed my teeth and experienced the gag reflex that sometimes occurs, it didn't stop there.

Once that bout passed, though, what lingered was some pretty fierce heartburn all day.  Nothing appealed to me for breakfast, but the cat and I had a bowl of cereal (not at the same time; she gets the bit of flavored milk I leave in my bowl).  Had a Carver Business Council meeting at the shop at 9:30, for which I always supply coffee and something home-baked.  This time it was pumpkin cranberry bread.  I was trying out a new coffee for the shop (Brazil Bahia), so I had a couple of cups.  (I later learned caffeine exacerbates heartburn.)  For lunch I could only manage a 6 oz cup of fat free cherry yogurt.

Al was with me at the shop (he took yesterday and today off from work to support me), and by mid-afternoon, I was looking forward to getting home.  It had been a real slow day at the shop.  A customer had come in after lunch looking for pink flowers (I had 10 small pink 'Blushing Akito' roses).  Her sister's 3-year-old granddaughter had died unexpectedly, and they were asked to wear something pink to the visitation (yesterday evening) and funeral (today).  I told her I could make up simple corsages, as many as she needed - a rose, a little sprig of baby's breath, a couple of leaves of Israeli ruskus and a pink shimmering bow with a pink jewel corsage pin.  She said she'd talk it over with others in her party, to see if they wanted her to do that, and get back to me.  At 3:00 she walked in and asked how long it would take to make up all 10 roses into corsages; I told her about an hour.  She said they'd be back at 4:00.  So for the next hour I wired and taped 10 little corsages together, while Al bagged them.  The activity was nice - I knew we'd get it done in time, so I wasn't stressed.  I love making corsages anyway, so that was no problem,  And it took my mind off how I was feeling.

After she left, I got a call at 4:15 PM.  A customer was on his way home and remembered it was his wife's birthday.  He wanted to know if I could put together a nice fall bouquet for him to pick up before we closed at 5:00 PM.  He was afraid he might not make it before we closed, and I told him if he wasn't there, we'd drop it off (free of charge, since he lives near us) on our way home.  I put together a beautiful bouquet for him with magnolia leaves, yellow roses and cushion and button mums, red carnations, millet, goldenrod, and fall leaves and tied it with a ribbon bow of falling leaves.  He made it in plenty of time.  So the last two hours of the day turned out to be pretty active.

When I got home, I looked up in our Medica Health Book about heartburn.  It said to avoid caffeine, oranges, tomatoes, chocolate, peppermint or spearmint flavorings, fat and fried food.  That didn't leave much.  While crunching Tums, I had visions of reheated pasties for dinner, but I knew the crust and ketchup would come back at me all night.  So I had another bowl of cereal and later a few saltines.  Al brought me a Joe Mauer Malt Cup while we were watching the game, but I knew the chocolate and buttermilk ingredients would make me sorry.

It was worth the sacrifice, I think.  I feel much better this morning.  Still have tired, squinty, watery eyes, but my stomach and esophagus seem to have settled down.  We'll see what today brings.

October 4, 2010 - Chemo 4

Yay!  The first half of my chemo treatments is over!  Had the last 2-hour session today.  The next four treatments (still two weeks apart) will be 4-hour treatments.  Dr. B says these next four (Taxol) are supposed to be easier on the system than the first four.  I wonder what that will mean for me, since the first four weren't all that bad.  But at any rate, I have four 4-hour reading sessions built into my upcoming schedule.  Good thing, because the next Diana Gabaldon book I'm going to re-read (Dragonfly In Amber) is 743 pages.  (The one after that is 931.)

October 3, 2010 - The Great Wig Controversy

OK, so I bought a wig.  There are lots of places that offer wigs of various styles and costs.  The first consideration for a wig is: synthetic or human hair.  Given the choice, human hair would appear to be the desired choice; after all, the purpose of a wig is to resemble one's natural hair, so a wig made of human hair will look the most natural.  Yes, but ... there are two big considerations:  ease of maintenance and cost.  Think about your natural hair - you have to wash it, dry it ... and style it (that includes blow dry, setting, teasing, iron curling or whatever women do to their hair).  A human hair wig requires the same care.  It's a fair amount of work to keep up.  And the cost?  I guess it depends on where you go, but they can start at $500.

A synthetic wig, on the other hand is relatively inexpensive and the style you choose is the style that's permanently set into the synthetic fiber.  So care is as easy as wash, gently shake out, set on a stand to dry and you're ready to go.  The drawbacks of synthetic are, essentially, twofold:  it doesn't look natural on close inspection and you have to keep it away from heat (the most likely culprit is the oven).  Many a perfectly good synthetic wig has been permanently ruined by the cook wearing a wig who opened the oven door and singed/melted the front of her wig.

I knew I wasn't going to want to wear a wig all the time - only for those occasions when it's kind of important to look "normal."  I didn't want to spend a lot of money for something I might wear once a month over the next 6-12 months, and then (hopefully) never need again.  Besides, we're not made of money these days.  I found a cute synthetic wig at www.paulayoung.com that was even on a web special, so I got it for $39 plus shipping.  It's cute and I'm happy with it, as far as wigs go.  But every wig gets warm, itchy and generally uncomfortable after a couple of hours, so it's not my first choice for headwear.

But for those cancer patients who feel this is their number one head cover option, there's a little bit of controversy over the obtaining of a nice new wig at little to no cost, as the American Cancer Society leads one to believe can be easily done.  The process to obtain one is not an easy one, and there are some "moral" issues involved.

The first step to getting a "free" wig is to see if one's health insurance covers the cost of a wig for a cancer patient undergoing chemotherapy.  Most health insurers do not.  However, they do (are are required to by MN statutory law) cover the cost of a wig for a patient suffering from a condition called "alopecia areata" (permanent hair loss) if the attending physician writes a prescription for the wig, calling it a "cranial prosthetic."  (I kid you not.)

Many providers of wigs, such as DK International in Chanhassen which I visited, will tell you that you can get your insurance company to pay for the wig (their synthetics start at $250) if your physician will write such a prescription for you, even instructing you to make sure the prescription specifically says it is for "a cranial prosthetic due to alopecia areata."  The problem is, hair loss due to chemotheraphy is not alopecia areata, so asking your physician to write such a prescription would be to participate in a fraud against your insurance company.  (My oncology clinic actually gives its chemo patients a handout on the subject which, in essence, says, "Don't even ask.  We won't do it.")

OK.  So let's rule that out.  The next step would be to get assistance directly from the American Cancer Society, which says it can provide a free wig to a cancer patient undergoing chemo.  The caveat here is that, in order to get the free wig, you have to answer two questions:

1) Does your insurance company cover the cost of a wig? (the required answer here is "no" which, as discussed above, is likely also the honest answer); and

2) Can you afford to pay for a wig?  If you say "no" here, that means you couldn't afford a synthetic wig from Paula Young that costs $39 plus $5.95 shipping.  Granted, some women could honestly answer "no" to that question.  I couldn't.

So, I have my cute synthetic wig, and I've worn it a couple of times so far - to my first BNI meeting after I buzzed my head, to the shop during Steamboat Days, and to a couple other places (that I can't remember).  But mostly you'll see me wearing a knit turban, or a scarf or maybe even a scarf and hat.  They really are the most comfortable head cover.

At home, where only Al needs to look at me, I prefer to go bald.  But it never occurred to me, prior to chemo, how comfortably warm a natural head of hair is.  There have been times this fall when open windows make the house "comfortably" cool, but I need to put something on my head.  And I'm anticipating as winter sets in, and nightime temps in the house go down, I'll need to wear something on my head to sleep in.  But that's a minor inconvenience.