Thursday, December 23, 2010 - MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Had R-9 (Radiation #9) this morning!  Only 24 left!

I had my weekly BNI meeting this morning (which, by the way, it is so great to be able to regularly attend again; I was missing a lot of them during chemo because they fell when I was feeling the lowest every over week) at 7:30 AM.  Left immediately at 9:00 to head to Waconia for radiation.  When I came in to the waiting room, look what was there:  Santa sitting reading the paper and drinking a cup of coffee while a crackling fire and holiday music emanated from the wide-screen HDTV!  What a place!

After my ray gun treatment, I had my weekly meeting with Dr. Sperduto.  I have no skin irritation (yet) or any other sign of what the radiation is doing to me (yet).  So the appointment was rather short.  Since I have to come with either a question or a joke every week, I had a question:  The study materials say no alcohol during radiation.  I asked him if he had a "zero tolerance" policy, or could I have a glass of wine with my Christmas dinner.  He said, "Have the wine.  Just keep it in moderation."  (Whew.  I think that covers the small glass of Bailey's I had a week ago, too.)

Can't believe Christmas is upon us already!  Hoping for a calm, low-key holiday.  Glazed spiral-sliced ham, scalloped potatoes, baked beans, vegetable, rolls -- and 3 pies again!  :)

Merry Christmas, everyone.

December 14, 2010 - Radiation

I started my daily radiation treatments yesterday.  I wanted to be able to go at 9:15 every day, so I'd have plenty of time to get to the shop to open at 10AM.  But the best they could do was to schedule me at 9:45 - so I can't open until 10:30 every day.  I'll need to change my Hours of Business sign.

So, every day I go to the oncology clinic and sit in the waiting room until they call me.  Tuesday is a day when all they are doing all day is radiations - no consultations.  So everyone in the waiting room is just waiting for their 15 minutes with the ray gun.

When I get into the radiation room, my "pillow" (not to be confused with My Pillow, the greatest pillow in the world, created right here in Carver, MN) is waiting for me on the table.  It's a mold that was taken of my head (positioned to the side) and arms (up over my head) so that each time I go for a treatment, I'm in the exact same position I was in when they took the initial measurements.  They take a few minutes to position me on the table so that my little freckle-sized tattoos are positioned exactly where they need them, then I get a series of blasts from the ray gun.

When I say "they," I'm referring to Molly and Julie, the technicians who operate that machine.  They're the most cheerful people I've ever met, constantly using words like "perfect," "great," and "awesome" when lining me up for my blasts.

I get four blasts, each from a different location, radiating my entire left breast as well as lymph nodes in my neck.  There's nothing to see, and I don't feel a thing.  But eventually (after a couple of weeks) these treatments begin to add up and I will start feeling the symptoms of severe sunburn, like tingling, pink skin, burning, red skin, possibly peeling, etc.  For this reason, they recommend that I apply 100% aloe gel to the area every day, even twice a day - or more.

Another side effect is fatigue, although Dr. Sperduto (pictured, left) didn't think the fatigue from radiation would be as great as the fatigue I experienced from chemo.  We'll have to see.

According to Dr. Sperduto, this radiation will do some irreparable damage to a small portion of my left lung, which is "in the way" of the blasts, but I probably won't even notice.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

I still haven't fully recovered from the brutal week I put in last week.  But I am starting to feel a little more normal.

Dr. Sperduto's (my radiation oncologist) office called today to schedule the finalization of my radiation plan, which we will do tomorrow afternoon.  Then Monday my weekday treatments will begin.  I'm sure, judging from how quickly the 16 weeks of chemo went, that the next six weeks will breeze by.

Sunday, December 5, 2011

Thankfully, it was a short day at the shop today.  Al & I went to Perkins for breakfast, and the shop was only open from 10AM - 2PM.  My friend, Marcia, came at 2:00 to give me acupuncture - poor dear has a broken arm (a victim of the ice storm we had earlier).

At 4:30, my friend Ann came over, and the three of us walked across the street to the Pumas, where we had a lovely champagne celebration of the end of my chemo treatments.  They had great hors d'ouevres that I ate so much of, I didn't need any dinner the rest of the night.  We had a lovely time with our dear neighbors.

Friday, December 3, 2010

It would have been nice to have been able to sleep in this morning, after all I had been through during the week.  But, no.  I had an 8:00 AM consultation with my radiation oncologist, whom I was just meeting for the first time today.  Al came with me, and as we sat in the waiting room (we got there at 7:30), I tried not to think about how tired and sore I was.

During this consultation I learned exactly what radiation does, what its side effects are, and what to expect from the machine.  They lined up the various angles of the beam (I’ll be getting four zaps every day), and gave me four little freckle-sized tattoos so that each time everything will line up correctly.  Then I had to go to the hospital imaging center for a CT scan.  With all of this data, the doctor will develop the final radiation plan which we will meet on one more time before radiation starts on Dec. 13.

They had told me to expect a 1.5 hour appointment, so I fully expected to be back at the shop by 10:00.  But things went more slowly than expected, and I didn’t get back to the shop until 11:30.  Bev opened the shop for me, although she wasn’t going to be able to ring up any sales.  But she at least was able to let people in and explain my absence.  On the way in, I had stopped at the McDonald’s drive through, and after eating felt much better.

I tried to spend the rest of the day sitting down as much as possible.  Considering this was still part of the occasional shop weekend, I still had a couple of sales days to get through.  But December is never one of the busiest weekends for the sales.

Thursday, December 2, 2010 -- SAVVY SOIREE DAY

I slept fitfully all night, thinking of things that needed to be done and worrying about whether we’d be ready when the Soiree was supposed to start.  I went in to the shop at 7:00 AM, and worked in the back room until about 8:45, then headed home to let the air duct cleaners in.  Unfortunately, they were running behind, so didn’t get to our house until 9:45.  I gave them a quick tour of where the furnace was, where each of the vents and cold air returns were, then left to go back to the shop.  They said they’d be there for 4.5 hours today. 

The first friend to show up was Ann, shortly after I got back at 10:00 AM.  She started vacuuming.  Then Bonny and Connie showed up.  They set up their areas, then asked what they could do to help me.  Then came Suzanne, all the way from Dayton (by Rogers), and a while after that Luda arrived (from Zimmerman).  These five ladies kept me sane.  Suzanne and Luda are from my floristry school, so they made a few arrangements for the cooler and did whatever I asked.  All of them were awesome.  Before I knew it, it was approaching 5:00 PM, and the shop looked amazing.  Alena showed up with her gourmet cookies, Connie brought back shortbread, and Bonny brought mini-cupcakes.  Bev and Sharon also arrived to help.  These people are the reason I got through this event.

Although I was mostly numb by that point, I was conscious enough to realize that the event was happening, people were filing in, the CD player was playing Christmas music, and it was going just fine.  John, our speaker, did an amazing job and everyone asked him a lot of very good questions.  We gave away tons of door prizes, and there were a lot of squeals of delight.  I was also ringing up sales, which Ann, Suzanne, and Luda were alternately bagging up for customers.  Customers were saying wonderful things about how darling our shop was, and what nice merchandise we had, and that they would certainly be back. 

When it was over, Suzanne and Luda helped clean up, while Bonny, Connie, Melody and Roberta were packing up their things.  I think it was 9:00 PM when I got home.  I, of course, had to tell Al all about everything (and knew I was forgetting things).  It took awhile to unwind enough to get to bed, but a nice warm soaking bath helped.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

I took two sleeping pills last night, and slept hard, like a rock.  In fact, I found it hard to wake up this morning.  When I got to the shop, there were boxes and boxes of fresh flower product that had been delivered early this morning for my Soiree – poinsettias, roses, lilies, etc., etc.  It took an hour or two to process the flowers and unbox the plants and set them out.

I realized that my ad deadline for the January, 2011 Savvy.MN magazine was due today, so stopped everything to get that done.  Then I got a call from my friend, Matt, who does our heating and plumbing.  I had let him know weeks before that I wanted to get our air ducts cleaned and sanitized, because my allergies had been really bothering me during the chemo.  Matt was calling me to schedule air duct cleaning tomorrow.  TOMORROW.  Like I needed another thing to worry about tomorrow.  But they have been so busy they were way behind schedule, and if I didn’t take that appointment, who knew when he’d get back to me with another time.  So I said, OK.

I had declined any help for today or tonight, thinking I wasn’t sure how long I was going to be able to last myself.  I worked on things all day – primarily trying to get the back room cleaned up for the refreshment area.  But at the end of the day, after spending the entire day on my feet, I was exhausted, achy, and depressed – it didn’t look like I had accomplished enough.  But I had to quit.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

I couldn't sleep again last night.  The night of every chemo appointment is a night of insomnia, due to the steriods in the anti-nausea drugs I get.  At 2:00 AM I was still wide awake, but I thought I'd better at least try to sleep.  I lay awake in bed until 4:30, when I got up, went downstairs, and read.  I heard Al get up at 5:30 and take his shower,  He suggested I try again, so at 6:30 I went back to bed -- and did manage to sleep until 8:30 AM.

Still feeling pretty good, though – high energy, no pain, a little heartburn – but Wednesday evening and Thursday will be the real test, to see if foregoing the shot had any measurable impact on my body’s reaction to the chemo.

I worked on Soiree prep all day today – unpacking new product that’s been coming in, pricing it and entering it into inventory.  We opened a few new lines in anticipation of a bunch of new people (48 have signed up so far) coming in to see our wares – we got Thymes fragranced body products, Abdallah  chocolates, gourmet gift basket items (like crackers, summer sausage, cheese, etc.). 

I also brought over all the rest of the Christmas décor (wreaths, swags, faux evergreen pots, etc.) in the hope that I’d get some help decorating the space (including the “non-occupied” half of the room).  Sure enough, three wonderful friends – Sharon Hartung, Kathy von Walter, and Diane Villars – offered to come in tonight for a couple of hours to be my slaves.

In less than two hours, they transformed the front room – all the new product was beautifully displayed, all the wreaths and swags hung, and the tops of the tall shelves and cupboards were decorated.  It gave me a new appreciation for the phrase: “Many hands make work light.”

Monday, November 29, 2010 -- LAST CHEMO TREATMENT! YAY!

Wow, has the last 4 months flown!  I remember when I was looking at 16 weeks of chemo and thinking that seemed like a long time.  Now, after today’s treatment, it’s over already! 

This last chemo appointment was scheduled the earliest in the day of all of the treatments – 8:30 AM lab, 9:00 Dr. Appt, 9:30-1:30 chemo – which was good, because Cheryl had to be at the airport for a 3:30 PM flight back to CA.  We decided that she would come with me to the lab, Dr. appt, and to see me get started on the chemo – just so she would have a better picture of what this is all about.  So she was able to meet Dr. B – they chatted briefly about what a great place San Diego is to live (although Cher lives in Oceanside, she tells people she lives in San Diego since it’s more likely they know where that is).

Anyway, Dr. B gave me a gift – since my blood cell levels have been so strong throughout the chemo process, he decided I did not need a shot this time.  AND I do not need to continue to come in every Monday for weekly labs.  That was nice to hear.  I’m hoping the absence of the shot will mean higher energy levels and less foot/leg pain.  We’ll see.

So after Cher met Michelle, my chemo technician, and I got hooked up to my IV, she took her leave to go back home, finish packing, maybe get in a nap before she had to come pick me up again.  She said she felt guilty about leaving, but I explained to her that I was looking forward to four hours of reading.

Cher came back around 12:30 – I thought I’d be done by then, but it took another 45 minutes for the drip to finish, even with Michelle periodically cranking it up.  We said goodbye, and headed for the airport.  Of course, my chemo brain took over.  I brought her to the wrong Terminal (even though I knew she was flying Sun Country, as she always does).  She still had plenty of time, though.

After I dropped her off, I headed back to the shop.  Even though I had posted a sign saying we’d be closed all day, I needed all the time I could get to prep the shop for Thursday’s Soiree.  A moment here about the Soiree:

Back in May or June, I made the conscious decision to pull all my ad dollars out of the various places that weren’t really producing verifiable business – like Chaska Herald ads, the Villager Tower, map ads, restaurant ad boards, and other things we’ve tried (not that there’s anything wrong with these advertisements; it’s just that I have never had anyone come in to the shop saying “I saw your ad in the Herald.”) – and devote nearly all ad revenues for the subsequent 12 months to Savvy.MN magazine (also published by SW Newspapers).  That’s turned out to be a good decision, because nearly every month I get customers asking to see the item I advertised in Savvy.MN.  And I get people coming in to pick up the monthly magazine. 

Anyway, at that time (June) I also decided to partner with Savvy.MN on one of their monthly Soirees (they provide publicity, some refreshments and some door prizes; I provide an educational event, a promotion for the night, some refreshments and some door prizes).  All good – except that in June, I didn’t know I had cancer; and I didn’t know the date I picked for the Soiree (Dec. 2) would be three days after my final chemo treatment.

So now I’m looking at three days until the Soiree, and there’s SO MUCH to be done!

Thursday, November 25, 2010 - Thanksgiving Day

My daughter, Cheryl, was with us this week from California.  So nice to have her here.  She helped a lot in the shop – doing a couple of deliveries, but mostly getting her mother motivated to get some cleaning done for our upcoming Soiree on Dec 2.  Cher is a cleaner, so she reorganized the stuff in the back room this week (I hope I can find things again when she’s gone).  She’s announced that this weekend we’re going to address the piles of papers I have lying around.  Not looking forward to that project.

Thanksgiving was actually one of the nicest we’ve had.  Due to my lower energy levels, the dinner menu was a much scaled-down affair.  No “from scratch” pies or side dishes.  We focused on the simple basics:  11 lb turkey (not the 23 pounders we’ve been known to get in the past because we love leftovers), Stovetop stuffing (with a twist; see below), steamed mixed vegetables (from a pre-packed bag), mashed potatoes and gravy, canned whole cranberry sauce, bread rack brown n serve rolls, Jell-O chocolate pudding pie and two frozen pies – Mrs. Smith’s pumpkin and Edward’s Lemon Maringue.  And not only was there more than enough food, it was very flavorful with little extra effort.

SOME RECIPES & TIPS HERE

Turkey.  I made my turkey the way I always do – brining it overnight being the most important step to any roast turkey.  Yes, it’s an extra step, but it’s really very little effort (the hardest part being remembering to do it) and makes a 1000% difference in the moistness and tenderness of the turkey (I also do this with chicken breasts prior to barbecuing).  Here’s how:  put the thawed (or nearly-thawed; it will complete thawing in the brine) turkey in a clean puncture-proof kitchen trash bag, then put that into something that will contain it, when it’s filled with brine, in your refrigerator.  I use a plastic office-size waste basket.  Mix brine at a ratio of 1 cup of salt to 1 gallon of water and pour it over the turkey in the trash bag.  How much brine you need depends on the size of your turkey, but it must be completely covered in brine.  2 gallons covered my 11 lb turkey.  Tie up the trash bag and refrigerate overnight (ideal), or at least 4 hours.

Before preparing the turkey for the oven, remove it from the brine, rinse it and pat it dry with paper towel.  My tried and true method for roasting a turkey is as follows:  Slice up one or two medium onions and lay them on the bottom of the roasting pan so that the turkey will cover them completely (if they’re exposed, they’re likely to burn and ruin your gravy).  Place the turkey on the onions, breast side up and wings tucked in.  Cut an onion, a couple of carrots and a couple stalks of celery into chunks and insert them (with some fresh herbs, like rosemary or thyme) into the cavity of the turkey.  (We always make our stuffing separately and do not put it in the turkey.  But the vegetables keep the turkey from drying out, and have a dual purpose later.)  Once the turkey is stuffed with vegetables, I salt and pepper the outside, and coat it with a thin layer flour.  Then I butter the outside.  Yes, just like you’re buttering bread, I spread butter all over the outside of the turkey with a butter knife.  Finally, I dust the entire turkey with paprika.  Then it’s into the oven.  See?  That’s not a lot of effort to prepare a turkey for roasting.

Gravy.  When the turkey is done, I remove it from the roasting pan to a platter and cover it with aluminum foil.  I remove the onions with a slotted spoon (you can add these back to your gravy if you like) and pour all the juices into a large separator.  Once the fat settles to the top, I pour the de-fatted drippings back into the roasting pan, reserving ¼ cup of the fat for my roux.  I add about 3-4 cups of chicken broth to the drippings in the roasting pan and bring that to a boil, scraping the sides of the pan for all the browned bits.  Once the drippings/broth comes to a boil, I pour it into a pan and set it aside on simmer to keep warm. 

I take out my large saucepan, add the reserved fat, and get it sizzling hot.  Then I whisk in ¼ cup of flour to make a paste (the roux).  I continue cooking this for a minute or two, until it gets a nice golden brown.  Then I slowly add the drippings/broth mixture, whisking constantly while it’s added.  (This takes some help from Al to do – he adds the stock while I whisk.)  Whisking constantly, add all the drippings/broth.  Bring to a boil.  Now, here’s the real shocker!  At this point, I add an envelope of dry turkey gravy mix, which I have first mixed in a cup with a little water, to get all the lumps out.  It thickens the gravy, adds some darker color, and brings out the flavor of the drippings.

Stuffing.  OK, I already said I used Stovetop stuffing, with a twist.  Here’s the twist.  All of those vegetables I put in the turkey cavity?  Why waste them?  I took them all out and, in a couple of batches, chopped them up on a cutting board.  Once the Stovetop was done, I stirred in the cooked chopped vegetables.  The stuffing was delicious!!

So … the moral of this post is:  a chemo patient can still make a fabulous Thanksgiving spread.  Just don’t be afraid to use pre-packaged, boxed or frozen ingredients!  If the entire family hadn’t been standing in the kitchen watching me and looking for ways to help, no one would have known that the entire meal wasn’t “from scratch.”

November 18, 2010 - Chemo 7

It's been difficult for me to keep up with this blog recently -- and not necessarily because I'm so affected by the chemo.  But this has been an extremely busy time for me in many respects, and I've been occupied doing other things.

Chemo 7 was on Monday, and went without incident.  I finally realized I could drive myself to chemo and back, and did so.  Tuesday afternoon I went back again for my shot, the dosage for which was reduced again because my white cell count has been higher than it needs to be.  All this week I've been converting the shop over to Christmas hoping to get it all done in time for this month's occasional sales.  Unfortunately, the occasional sales started today and I wasn't completely there yet.  Everything I wanted to get out isn't out yet, and areas of the shop I hoped would have been cleaned out by now aren't.  But I'm doing the best I can.

Wednesday evening I was very tired and starting to get the soreness that seems to come as a result of the shot.  Even though they've considerably cut back on the dosage, it hasn't eliminated the pain and discomfort I get (for a day or two) in my feet, legs and hips.  Tonight (Thursday) it's even more pronounced -- not unbearable, but I feel like I have "restless leg syndrome;" I keep having to shift my feet and legs to try to make them more comfortable.  In addition, I have two numb toes (a known side effect of Taxol) that feel kind of funny in my shoes.  If things go as they have been, I should be done with the foot/leg pain by tomorrow.

Which is good, because I still have a lot to do.  Tomorrow morning I'm going to the Minneapolis Gift Mart Sample Sale with my friend, Ann.  Then the occasional sale continues for two more days, along with the  aforementioned cleaning and merchandising.  We've been getting some new product lines in for Christmas, so that product needs to be priced and added into inventory.

Then there's our Savvy Soiree on December 2.  We set this up long before I was ever diagnosed with breast cancer, and I'm sure it will all turn out fine - but it still seems daunting.  Up to 65 shoppers will descend on Carver Country Flowers & Gifts at 6:00 that evening (having all pre-registered at www.Savvy.MN) for shopping, door prizes, refreshments and an educational seminar.  We're really looking forward to it -- but it will happen four days after Chemo 8.  In other words, I can expect to be feeling that night pretty much the way I'm feeling right now -- which will take a little effort (and Aleve) to get through.

In the meantime, I'm looking forward to waking up tomorrow morning and not having my feet hurt.

November 6, 2010

While the side effects of Chemo 6 were much less than Chemo 5, they weren't without incident.  Usually, I'm dragging myself through Wednesday and Thursday following Chemo (and last time, Friday and Saturday as well).  This time Wednesday passed without incident, and I even went to my 7:30 AM BNI meeting on Thursday.  But Thursday evening I did start to feel fatigued.

Friday I had foot pain (similar to Wednesday two weeks ago), but not as bad as previously, so easing off the dosage of my follow-up shot must have had an effect.  I was able to take ibuprofen during the day and Excedrin PM at night to ease the aches.  This morning I still feel it enough to want to stay off my feet -- even though I'm supposed to be packing up the Halloween merchandise that is still out on the retail floor!

Heartburn has been mostly non-existent this round.  Mouth sores are a thing of the past.  All of the chemo tips I read up on and was prepared to have to deal with are just taking up space in my cancer binder.  Haven't had to think about them much since about the second week into this Chemo journey.  Seems the time is going very fast.

November 2, 2010 - AM

I don't know what my night would have been like if Al hadn't reminded me to take a sleeping pill this first night after receiving the anti-nausea steroids yesterday.  They always have a stimulating effect.  I took a Simply Sleep at around 9:30, then went online to do a little research.  By 11:00 I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.

But I got up to go to the bathroom at 1:30 and it took until after 3:30 to fall back asleep.  Woke up at 6:30 for the day (remembering that I have to pick up a bunch white cushion poms from my wholesaler today for a floral birthday cake I have to deliver tomorrow.  I think I'll just go to Van's in Edina; it's the closest.).

We have exactly one month to get ready for our Savvy Soiree on December 2.  Today I will continue making my To Do List, place some product orders, start packing away all the Halloween merchandise to make way for more Christmas and do some more cleaning/organizing in the back room.  All of the stuff we had stored "temporarily" in the workshop had to be moved to the back room, since our landlord seems to have found a renter for the workshop.  Good news and bad news!  (Mostly good.)

November 1, 2010 - Chemo 6 PM

Finished my chemo in record time!  I'm home early!  Nice to enjoy some extra time on this summer fall day away from the shop.

My lovely neighbor and friend, Bev, dropped me off at Ridgeview at 9:00 this morning to get my weekly blood draw, and then I walked across the parking lot to the oncology clinic.  I picked up the A section of the Strib to kill some time, and a few minutes later they called me in.  My appointment with Dr. B wasn't scheduled until 9:30, but he doesn't like patients to wait.

After Nurse Florence took my weight, blood pressure, pulse and temp and recorded them in the computer, I again picked up the newspaper I had taken with me.  Immediately, Dr. B came in.  (Is there something in the paper I'm not supposed to read today?)  We talked a little about how I've been doing - still no nausea, no digestive problems, heartburn was way less this time, no mouth sores at all this time.  He concurred that this drug I'm getting now, Taxol, should be less harsh on my system, even though the treatments are longer.

I mentioned to him that I did have some pretty good foot, ankle and lower leg pain the day after the shot (enough so I had trouble getting to sleep, even after taking a Vicodin), and that I also was surprised that I was fatigued for four days following the chemo, rather than the "normal" (for me) 1-2 days.  He checked my blood report (which, paradoxically in this high-tech world, had been shoved under the door while we were talking) and said, "Well, no wonder!  Your white count was going through the roof at that time.)

Normal white count readings are 4.0-11.0.  The highest I've had to date (a week after the Neulasta shot, which is designed to promote blood cell production) was 26.0, coming back down the second week to 17.0.  Last week, it registered 48.6!  (Today it was down to 19.8.)  That means that my bones were producing white cells like crazy (much more than necessary) and my body was reacting -- with foot pain and fatigue.  Tomorrow I go in for another shot, but this time he's cutting the dosage in half.  He thinks that should solve the pain and fatigue problem.  We then spent some time discussing the Steig Larsson books and Swedish movies versions (which are on Comcast On Demand, by the way).

So, that consultation only took a half hour.  By 9:45 I was walking into the chemo room.  By 10:00 I was all situated, my vein plumbed and ready for the meds -- pure saline, followed by benadryl, followed by an anti-nausea mix, followed by the Taxol - normally a 4-hour routine.  I should have been done by 2 PM.

But around 12:45 I looked up and the Taxol bag was nearly empty.  I called Michelle, the technician who worked with me today, and said, "I have someone picking me up today, and I'd like to give her an idea when I'll be finished.  Can you tell from looking at this bag approximately when I'll be done."  She looked and said, "I'd say 10-15 minutes."  I immediately called Bev, who was nice enough to jump into her car on short notice and head to Waconia again.  Sure enough, by 1:00 PM I was picking up my stuff and heading for the door.

So, it was nice to get out early.  (Gee, I sure hope they didn't forget something.)

November 1, 2010 - Chemo 6 AM

Good morning, everyone!  How did we manage to get to November so fast???  Halloween (and a lot of overbought candy) is behind us - well, the candy isn't quite behind us yet, but it will be soon.  For the past few years we've been trending up on the number of Trick or Treaters we get, so we expected quite a few more this year.  Instead we got less.  Wonder why that was.

Anyway, it's early.  I'm heading for a quick run to the shop.  I forgot to put my sign on the door yesterday indicating that I'd be closed all day today for chemo, so I have to run back and do that.  While I'm there I'll put stamps on the shop bills I paid yesterday (while watching that stupid Vikings game) and get those to the post office.  Then I'll be waiting for Bev to come pick me up to take me to chemo.

Treatment #5, my first on Taxol, seemed to be a bit easier on the heartburn and mouth sores, but a little tougher on the fatigue.  On the other hand, my acupuncturist and I had trouble scheduling any treatments prior to Chemo 5, so maybe that made a difference.  We were able to connect both last Sunday and yesterday, so I feel more fortified for today's chemo.  Again, we'll see.  Each day is a new adventure.

For these Taxol treatments, since they take 4 hours rather than 2, I need to come prepared.  Of course the first priority is the big, compelling book.  I'm about a quarter of the way through Drums of Autumn, book 2 in Diana Gabaldon's time travel series about Jamie and Claire (my first reading of this book having occurred shortly after its publication in 1992), so that's coming with me.  Also the little footie socks they gave me after my surgery and a packed lunch, since I won't be done with treatment until 2:30 or so.  And a few snack size Milky Way bars (we HAVE to get rid of this Halloween candy).  A can of diet Sierra Mist.  My Blackberry, of course.  And my planner, in case something I need to do occurs to me while I'm following Jamie and Clair around France.

I'll try to report again in a day or two.  Happy November!

October 25, 2010

I think this has been the longest I've gone without posting since I started this blog.  I just haven't had the energy.  Monday and Tuesday I pretty much felt fine.  Wednesday, I started getting more achey (I presume from the Neulasta) - especially in my feet, ankles and calves (of course, they said it would be in my back).  Granted, Wednesday Al & I spent way too much time working in the shop - well until 6:30 PM - trying to get ready for the occasional sales.  We put up one of the two new 9' narrow profile Christmas trees we purchased on clearance from Sullivan's (an awesome deal), which should have been a breeze, since it was pre-lit; but, of course, I wanted to remove all the multi-colored lights from one of them, and replace them with clear lights.  Al, being the doll that he is, didn't put up a fuss but sat down with me to remove them.  IT TOOK FOREVER!  And that's pretty much all we had time for that day.

After we left the shop, we had to go to Shakopee to pick up Al's car that had been left the previous day for service.  Since we were so close, we decided to stop at Pablo's for dinner.  It was iffy - I've been battling with a little bit of heartburn from the chemo, so Mexican was a risky choice.  But I took it easy (steak fajitas) and avoided the hot salsa and fried chips (as much as I could).  But I was struggling to keep my eyes open throughout dinner.  I was exhausted by the time we got home (driving our separate cars).  My feet and lower legs ached like fire.  I took some ibuprofen, but it didn't seem to help a lot.  I had a hard time sleeping, because my legs kept aching.  Both of us had cramped hands, from twisting off those lights.

Thursday was the occasional sale.  I went in early to start putting the clear lights on (which was SO MUCH easier than taking off the machine applied multis).  My eyes were at half-mast most of the day, but I did manage to get all the light strings on -- except that the last string was faulty, so Al went to make the exchange at Target.  In between our Christmas tree decorating, we had quite a few customers.  I'm sure it didn't phase them a bit that we were not fully prepared for their shopping experience; they were mostly interested in the Fall and Halloween merchandise we had on sale, anyway.

Friday, again between customer sales, I got the Christmas tree decorated.  The reason it had to have clear lights is that all the decorations are gold and white.  I had meant to weave gold and white crinkle sheer into the inside of the tree, around the "trunk" to disguise it, but realizing I was not operating at full power, that's the first decision I made - eliminate the crinkle sheer this year.  I'm sure it would have looked much better with the crinkle sheer, but ... oh well.  Next year is another year.

Saturday was another busy customer day.  I hosted a Metal Stamping class at the shop at 9:00 AM before the shop opened, and that was quite fun.  We got quite a few nice Facebook comments about the class from some of the participants.

But Sunday might have been the busiest day of the entire weekend.  We started with 8:00 AM Mass at St. Nicholas, then I went to the shop.  Had pretty good traffic for a Sunday, due to the fact that the Second Alarm Chili Feed was going on at the Village Hall.  At 2:00 PM, when we would normally close up on a Sunday, I taught a kids' Park & Rec class on how to make Spooky Trees.  It was a very small class, but the kids had fun.  Kristy (head of Park & Rec) took a photo of them with their trees, and it was so cute she said she wants to use it on the cover of the Park & Rec book next fall.

After the class was over, my dear friend, Marcia Kirk came with her acupuncture needles.  We've missed each other the past couple of weeks due to scheduling conflicts, and I really felt it.  I honestly believe it's been helping my body cope with the chemo.  So we were able to have some quiet acupuncture time.  THEN we went to the Chili Feed for dinner.  Added a couple of bids to the Silent Auction items, then went home to watch the Vikings game.  

I was feeling overall a bit better by Sunday, but my normal 1-2 day bout with fatigue really lasted about 4 days this time.  Go figure!

Today I've spent my morning catching up on some bookkeeping.  I just reached a point where I think I can reward myself with lunch!  :)

October 19, 2010 - Chemo 5

Chemo treatment number 5 is now behind me, and passed fairly uneventfully.  Yesterday was my first treatment with Taxol, a "natural" toxin originally derived from the bark of a yew grown in the Pacific Northwest.  Thankfully, before they could mow down too many yews in Washington & Oregon, the toxin was also found in even higher concentrations in the fallen needles of a European tree.  Now it's "manufactured."  (All of these tidbits I learn from the marvelous Dr. B, who wants his patients to be completely informed, which I appreciate.)

My neighbor, Bev, gave me a ride to Ridgeview Medical Center yesterday morning so I could get my weekly blood draw at 9:30 AM.  After my lab, I walked across the parking lot to the clinic for my Dr. appointment and treatment.  After Dr. B reviewed my lab results and pronounced them "perfect," he debriefed me on this next regimen.  These treatments take 4 hours to administer (as oppose to the last four which took 2 hours), but the chemical is less toxic, and should have a lesser effect on my body's tolerance (although the previous treatments haven't been that bad).  


He also informed me that I may have more aches and pains in the upcoming weeks, but that Tylenol or Aleve should address them just fine.  Some of the muscle aches could be produced by the Taxol.  But because the Taxol doesn't inhibit the blood cell production quite as much as the previous concoction, the Neulasta shot I get 24 hours after treatment will boost even more blood cells.  This larger production in the bone marrow could give me more bone aches.  We shall see.


Anyway, he he continued to caution me that the Taxol sometimes causes an allergic reaction in the patient during the first 15 minutes of administering, and urged me to let the technicians know if I "feel like you want to die - you won't."  By this he meant, if I experienced shortness of breath, accelerated heartbeat, pressure on my chest, difficulty in swallowing - the kind of reaction I have had to epinephrine and that, I imagine, those with systemic allergies to bee stings experience.  In this case, they would stop the drip, give me about 30 minutes to get back to normal, and resume the drip.  By this time the body's chemical attach on the drug would have been spent, and should not reoccur.  But just in case, they add Benedryl to the pre-meds I get before they start the chemical drip.


Thankfully, the reaction did not occur.  But the Benedryl did make me drowsy, so I dosed off for a little bit during the treatment.  The good news is, that made the 4 hours pass more quickly; the bad news is, it gave me less time to read my book.  Knowing this was going to be a long day, I had the foresight to pack a few extras.  I brought the little footie-socks they gave me after my surgery a few months ago, so I was able to take off my shoes and still be comfortable.  I also packed a lunch, since I wasn't scheduled to be done until about 3 PM.  Even though I had a pretty big breakfast, I was thankful to have a ham sandwich and chips to keep me going.  Oh -- and I "borrowed" a few Milky Way snack size treats from the Halloween candy.  (Honey, I've eaten all the M & Ms, too, so we're going to need to buy more for the neighborhood kids.)


The rest of the time I just read.  Before I knew it, they were telling me I was done -- I finished at 2:45 PM.  Al was scheduled to pick me up around 3:30, so I just hung around and read some more.  Al picked me up and we came home.  I felt good.  We watched TV, had a good dinner, and I went to bed around 9:30.  Unfortunately, I once again forgot that the pre-med anti-nausea drug is a steroid, i.e. a stimulant.  I'm supposed to take a sleeping pill the first night or two, and I forgot.  So I was wide awake at 2:00 AM (which is why Steve, my wholesale rep, got an email from me at that hour this morning with a list of product I need him to bring to the shop today when he comes to visit).  I went downstairs and made myself a cup of cocoa and read some more, finally able to fall back to sleep at 4:30 AM.


I'm looking forward to a full day.  I have a sympathy arrangement to make, a wedding quote to get out, my monthly e-mail newsletter/blog to write and send, and Christmas merchandise to start setting up.  I'll need to close at 4 PM to go back to Waconia for my Neulasta shot, then drop off the sympathy arrangement in Chanhassen, then pick up Al at the Chevy dealership in Shakopee and meet our friends, Ann & Doug for dinner at Ruby Tuesday in Chaska.

That's the plan, anyway.  

October 13, 2010

Still very minor effects from the chemo, thankfully.  A little tiredness from time to time; a little heartburn we're managing with food choices and Tums; some canker-like sores in the mouth and on the tongue.  But, really, I hope it's all doing a much better job on the cancer cells than it's doing on the rest of my body.

We had quite a phenomenal weekend.  The MN State Florist Association had its Annual Convention this past weekend, which I attended for the second year.  Saturday evening was their first Awards Banquet, inspired by our MNSFA President's participation in a number of other state florist association conventions over the past year.  Al attended the banquet with me, and was able to meet a few of my colleagues/friends in the industry, from fellow florists, wholesaler reps and instructors.

It was a very emotional and inspiring evening, as MNSFA honored Todd Bachman with a posthumus Lifetime Achievement Award (you may recall that Todd was senselessly killed during the Beijing Olympics).  His wife and daughters were there to accept the award which, from now on, will be called the Todd Bachman Lifetime Achievement Award.  We also watched as 10 Minnesota florists were recognized for achieving state certification, a new florist certification program just instituted this past year.  A number of other awards were given out.

Then we were both shocked and humbled as Carver Country Flowers & Gifts was named the 2010 Retailer of the Year by MNSFA.  Nationally recognized floral designer, friend and instructor Ardith Beveridge made the presentation, and she was visibly emotional as she delivered her script.  (As I listened, I kept thinking, "It sounds like she's talking about us - but she can't be!")  Then, after draping an orchid lei around my neck, and presenting me with the award, she announced to the audience that, in addition, I was "waging a valiant fight against cancer, and doing very well."  I got another round of applause.  (Thankfully, I elected to wear my wig that night, rather than a scarf or hat.  There were a number of photos taken!)  :)

Right now, as I write this, I have CNN on in the background, and I'm watching as each one of those Chilean miners is raised one by one (21 have come up so far), and they all appear to be well and fit, considering their ordeal.  I know that some of them had health problems already, prior to the mine collapse, and doubtless the ordeal will wreak some psychological and emotional challenges for them in the upcoming months and years.  But it is unbelievable to watch each one emerge from the rescue capsule and to watch how each one deals with the rescue differently (some pray, some shout, some just hug their family).  I pray that they will each have a bright future.

October 8, 2010

OK.  The taste buds are going now.  Chemotherapy isn't smart enough to only go after cancer cells - it targets any rapidly replicating cells, which includes blood cells (which is why I need a Neulasta shot after every treatment to help stimulate blood cell production), digestive cells (which is why some chemo patients suffer from gastro problems), hair cells (which is why we lose our hair), and mouth cells (some patients get canker-like sores in the mouth and lose taste buds).  Up until now everything has tasted the same, but recently I've noticed my taste buds going.  I guess it's primarily saltiness - which is a big factor in the taste of food.  Yesterday Al & I went to Arby's, and my regular roast beef tasted like foam rubber.  Thankfully, the potato cake(s) tasted just fine.  This morning I had my favorite breakfast sandwich from Casey's, and it just didn't taste right.  I've even noticed that our beloved filtered water tastes funny to me.  I've been assured that, once the chemo is over, these taste buds will return.

I had my 2009 tax consultation this morning with the wonderful Cathy Steigerwald of Carver Tax Service.  Yes, I said 2009.  We filed an extension again last April (vowing it would be our last), with the expectation that we would get the taxes done no later than August 31.  But then cancer entered my life, and that deadline escaped.  I pulled together everything I had (not perfectly organized, but at least all in the same place) and met with Cathy this morning.  She's so upbeat.  She made me feel like I was the most organized person in the world, and that this would be no big deal and we had plenty of time (a week?).  I left there with a list of the 4 things I still need to get to her, feeling like this is one more hurdle that we're going to get over soon.

Looking forward to a beautiful day today and a lovely weekend.  Saturday night Al & I will attend the MN State Florist Association President's Banquet, and Sunday the shop will be closed all day while I attend the MNSFA Convention seminars.  Both of these are up in Brooklyn Park.  I hate to close the shop for anything, but this is a great opportunity to meet with my wholesale reps, reacquaint myself with the many friends I've made in the local florist community, and learn new things to help our business survive and grow in this challenging economy.

October 7, 2010

Chemo 4 hit a little harder than the previous ones, but still very bearable.  Fatigue has been greater and earlier this time, and I had my first bout with any nausea/vomiting yesterday morning, but it my be only tangentially related to the chemo.  I think it's more related to my allergies, which have been somehow exacerbated by the chemo. My tiredness seems to be all in and behind my eyes - my eyes are at half mast most of the time.  My queasiness is from all the post nasal drip (or fountain, as the case may be) filling my stomach and throat with constant phlegm (I remember when that was a spelling word in 7th grade).  So, yesterday when I brushed my teeth and experienced the gag reflex that sometimes occurs, it didn't stop there.

Once that bout passed, though, what lingered was some pretty fierce heartburn all day.  Nothing appealed to me for breakfast, but the cat and I had a bowl of cereal (not at the same time; she gets the bit of flavored milk I leave in my bowl).  Had a Carver Business Council meeting at the shop at 9:30, for which I always supply coffee and something home-baked.  This time it was pumpkin cranberry bread.  I was trying out a new coffee for the shop (Brazil Bahia), so I had a couple of cups.  (I later learned caffeine exacerbates heartburn.)  For lunch I could only manage a 6 oz cup of fat free cherry yogurt.

Al was with me at the shop (he took yesterday and today off from work to support me), and by mid-afternoon, I was looking forward to getting home.  It had been a real slow day at the shop.  A customer had come in after lunch looking for pink flowers (I had 10 small pink 'Blushing Akito' roses).  Her sister's 3-year-old granddaughter had died unexpectedly, and they were asked to wear something pink to the visitation (yesterday evening) and funeral (today).  I told her I could make up simple corsages, as many as she needed - a rose, a little sprig of baby's breath, a couple of leaves of Israeli ruskus and a pink shimmering bow with a pink jewel corsage pin.  She said she'd talk it over with others in her party, to see if they wanted her to do that, and get back to me.  At 3:00 she walked in and asked how long it would take to make up all 10 roses into corsages; I told her about an hour.  She said they'd be back at 4:00.  So for the next hour I wired and taped 10 little corsages together, while Al bagged them.  The activity was nice - I knew we'd get it done in time, so I wasn't stressed.  I love making corsages anyway, so that was no problem,  And it took my mind off how I was feeling.

After she left, I got a call at 4:15 PM.  A customer was on his way home and remembered it was his wife's birthday.  He wanted to know if I could put together a nice fall bouquet for him to pick up before we closed at 5:00 PM.  He was afraid he might not make it before we closed, and I told him if he wasn't there, we'd drop it off (free of charge, since he lives near us) on our way home.  I put together a beautiful bouquet for him with magnolia leaves, yellow roses and cushion and button mums, red carnations, millet, goldenrod, and fall leaves and tied it with a ribbon bow of falling leaves.  He made it in plenty of time.  So the last two hours of the day turned out to be pretty active.

When I got home, I looked up in our Medica Health Book about heartburn.  It said to avoid caffeine, oranges, tomatoes, chocolate, peppermint or spearmint flavorings, fat and fried food.  That didn't leave much.  While crunching Tums, I had visions of reheated pasties for dinner, but I knew the crust and ketchup would come back at me all night.  So I had another bowl of cereal and later a few saltines.  Al brought me a Joe Mauer Malt Cup while we were watching the game, but I knew the chocolate and buttermilk ingredients would make me sorry.

It was worth the sacrifice, I think.  I feel much better this morning.  Still have tired, squinty, watery eyes, but my stomach and esophagus seem to have settled down.  We'll see what today brings.

October 4, 2010 - Chemo 4

Yay!  The first half of my chemo treatments is over!  Had the last 2-hour session today.  The next four treatments (still two weeks apart) will be 4-hour treatments.  Dr. B says these next four (Taxol) are supposed to be easier on the system than the first four.  I wonder what that will mean for me, since the first four weren't all that bad.  But at any rate, I have four 4-hour reading sessions built into my upcoming schedule.  Good thing, because the next Diana Gabaldon book I'm going to re-read (Dragonfly In Amber) is 743 pages.  (The one after that is 931.)

October 3, 2010 - The Great Wig Controversy

OK, so I bought a wig.  There are lots of places that offer wigs of various styles and costs.  The first consideration for a wig is: synthetic or human hair.  Given the choice, human hair would appear to be the desired choice; after all, the purpose of a wig is to resemble one's natural hair, so a wig made of human hair will look the most natural.  Yes, but ... there are two big considerations:  ease of maintenance and cost.  Think about your natural hair - you have to wash it, dry it ... and style it (that includes blow dry, setting, teasing, iron curling or whatever women do to their hair).  A human hair wig requires the same care.  It's a fair amount of work to keep up.  And the cost?  I guess it depends on where you go, but they can start at $500.

A synthetic wig, on the other hand is relatively inexpensive and the style you choose is the style that's permanently set into the synthetic fiber.  So care is as easy as wash, gently shake out, set on a stand to dry and you're ready to go.  The drawbacks of synthetic are, essentially, twofold:  it doesn't look natural on close inspection and you have to keep it away from heat (the most likely culprit is the oven).  Many a perfectly good synthetic wig has been permanently ruined by the cook wearing a wig who opened the oven door and singed/melted the front of her wig.

I knew I wasn't going to want to wear a wig all the time - only for those occasions when it's kind of important to look "normal."  I didn't want to spend a lot of money for something I might wear once a month over the next 6-12 months, and then (hopefully) never need again.  Besides, we're not made of money these days.  I found a cute synthetic wig at www.paulayoung.com that was even on a web special, so I got it for $39 plus shipping.  It's cute and I'm happy with it, as far as wigs go.  But every wig gets warm, itchy and generally uncomfortable after a couple of hours, so it's not my first choice for headwear.

But for those cancer patients who feel this is their number one head cover option, there's a little bit of controversy over the obtaining of a nice new wig at little to no cost, as the American Cancer Society leads one to believe can be easily done.  The process to obtain one is not an easy one, and there are some "moral" issues involved.

The first step to getting a "free" wig is to see if one's health insurance covers the cost of a wig for a cancer patient undergoing chemotherapy.  Most health insurers do not.  However, they do (are are required to by MN statutory law) cover the cost of a wig for a patient suffering from a condition called "alopecia areata" (permanent hair loss) if the attending physician writes a prescription for the wig, calling it a "cranial prosthetic."  (I kid you not.)

Many providers of wigs, such as DK International in Chanhassen which I visited, will tell you that you can get your insurance company to pay for the wig (their synthetics start at $250) if your physician will write such a prescription for you, even instructing you to make sure the prescription specifically says it is for "a cranial prosthetic due to alopecia areata."  The problem is, hair loss due to chemotheraphy is not alopecia areata, so asking your physician to write such a prescription would be to participate in a fraud against your insurance company.  (My oncology clinic actually gives its chemo patients a handout on the subject which, in essence, says, "Don't even ask.  We won't do it.")

OK.  So let's rule that out.  The next step would be to get assistance directly from the American Cancer Society, which says it can provide a free wig to a cancer patient undergoing chemo.  The caveat here is that, in order to get the free wig, you have to answer two questions:

1) Does your insurance company cover the cost of a wig? (the required answer here is "no" which, as discussed above, is likely also the honest answer); and

2) Can you afford to pay for a wig?  If you say "no" here, that means you couldn't afford a synthetic wig from Paula Young that costs $39 plus $5.95 shipping.  Granted, some women could honestly answer "no" to that question.  I couldn't.

So, I have my cute synthetic wig, and I've worn it a couple of times so far - to my first BNI meeting after I buzzed my head, to the shop during Steamboat Days, and to a couple other places (that I can't remember).  But mostly you'll see me wearing a knit turban, or a scarf or maybe even a scarf and hat.  They really are the most comfortable head cover.

At home, where only Al needs to look at me, I prefer to go bald.  But it never occurred to me, prior to chemo, how comfortably warm a natural head of hair is.  There have been times this fall when open windows make the house "comfortably" cool, but I need to put something on my head.  And I'm anticipating as winter sets in, and nightime temps in the house go down, I'll need to wear something on my head to sleep in.  But that's a minor inconvenience.

September 26, 2010

Since I haven't posted for nearly a week, I would imagine everyone is wondering if I'm alive and well.  Yes, both.  Had a couple of tired days this week - against pattern a little bit.  Chemo Monday, tired Tuesday, OK Wednesday, tired again Thursday.  Friday and Saturday I was fine during the day, but very tired in the evening.

But, again, that's been the limit of my side effects so far this week.  No nausea, no pain.  A couple incidents of calf cramps in the middle of the night, but nothing serious.  So, once again, we remain thankful that things are going as well as they are.

This has been a weekend we've been waiting for at the shop - a convergence of the occasional shops, open air market and antiques show/sale typically make this one of our most active weekends of the year.  Thursday and Friday were fairly quiet, due to the rain.  But Saturday was quite active - we had lots of customers and had a very good day.  Today is quiet again, and we'll be leaving here around 2:00 PM to go home, watch the rest of the Vikings game, possibly the end of the Twins game (if it's not already over by then), and relax with the Sunday paper.

We have noticed more hair loss -- but still overall maybe 25% of pre-chemo.  Lately we've noticed a considerable receding frontal hairline.  The back of my head looks like our lawn after the snowcover melts in spring and you can see the tracks left by the voles.  :)

September 20, 2010 - Chemo 3

Had a very uneventful Chemo 3 day (just the way we like them).  Shelley picked me up from home at 12:45 and gave me a ride to Waconia.  We had a lovely chat along the way, about Silly Bandz, kids' sports teams, and Mom/wife situations.  She dropped me off at Ridgeview MC, where the lab didn't seem at all in a hurry to do my blood draw, but miraculously, by the time I walked across the parking lot to MN Oncology for my appointment, my results were there.

Dr. B teased me (in front of the technicians) for remarking (he said "complaining") that Chemo 2 didn't have much (he said "enough") side effects, and that I had wondered if (he said "doubted that") they had measured out the cocktail correctly.  Just for my benefit, he checked the calculation (based on height & weight, type of cancer, duration, etc.) and determined that, yes, the Chemo 2 treatment had been precisely the right mix, and my body just tolerated it well the last two weeks.  The mix for Chemo 3 was also identical.

Deb, the technician yesterday, hooked me up the the saline and pre-meds, added the two tubes of "cherry Kool-Aid), and then allowed the last bag to drip.  I progressed in my paperback (The Girl Who Played With Fire) and ate the lovely Godiva chocolate/caramel bar Al got for me.  It was delicious.

Because I got started on my treatment about a half hour earlier than normal, I had a little wait after I finished before Al got there from work to pick me up, but it was "Patient Appreciation Week" at the clinic, and they had a wonderful fruit plate as a treat for patients.  (The strawberries were huge and delicious, as was the melon and pineapple.)  So this routine works well.  There's no point in Al taking the afternoon off work to sit with me and read a magazine (it's a boring process), when I can get a ride there, read in solitary quiet, and ride home with him afterward.

We had a lovely volunteer meal, brought over my one of our many friends.  It was very good and nutritious.  It's wonderful to have so many friends who are also great cooks.  Watched the news, Rubicon and the end of the Twins game.  (I could barely stay up for the end, my eyes were so heavy.  But it was nice to see the win.)

September 19, 2010

I was soooooooooo tired last night.  I'm not sure I can attribute it to the chemo, though, since I'm at the end of my Chemo 2 cycle, and start Chemo 3 tomorrow.  I think it had everything to do with the wedding I did.  It wasn't quite as bad as weddings past, where I've been at the shop until midnight some nights.  No, I got all of things that I could lined up ahead of time.  After attending my BNI meeting from 7:00 - 9:00 AM, I ran home quick to pick something up, and discovered that the spring on our garage door broke.  I came back to open the shop and was able to get the curly willow base of the two altar arrangements all set up so adding the fresh flowers later would be quick, and I got the five bouquets assembled (except for their handle treatments) on Thursday (this between sales).  I left the shop at 5:00 PM that day, because I wanted to attend the Savvy Soiree at Rosie Posie in Prior Lake at 6:00 (to get a glimpse of what they're like, since we're hosting one on December 2).  Got home about 7:45 PM.

Friday was a busy day, because first I had to run out to two wholesalers in search of more white satin ribbon (which I had forgotten to secure long in advance as I should have).  The bride called to ask 1) would there be any orchid stems left they could use in a vase at the unity candle? (yes, two); 2) did they tell me they needed two small presentation bouquets for each of their parents? (No, but that was no problem; I'd use the green Fuji mums she had ooohhh'd over the last time she was in the shop); and 3) since the photographer wanted to start taking pictures at noon rather than 1:00, would it be possible to deliver the flowers an hour earlier? (I got a "You are so awesome" when I told her it would be no problem.)  I had to do 10 corsages and 15 boutonnieres that day, but Al was a big help when he got there at 4:30, bagging up corsages and boutonnieres and affixing their appropriate tags.  Then I made up the cake top flowers (four clusters on 2-1/2" wide ribbon squares), and finished all the bouquet handles with intricate pin-tucked ribbon secured with pearl pins.  But even so, we were only at the shop until about 7:30 PM.

Usually I can't sleep very well the night before a wedding, because I find myself waking up remembering details I had previously forgotten, and I stay semi-awake trying to keep those thoughts in my brain so they don't get forgotten again by the time I wake up.  This time I sat in front of the TV with a note pad in my lap, thinking through every detail and writing it down, so I would have a list to work from on the last morning.  That helped a lot.  I slept soundly.

I got up Saturday at 6 AM, had a quick breakfast and was at the shop by 6:30.  I finished the altar arrangements (I already had everything put together except the fresh flowers), made up the transport boxes for Al's delivery, wrapped up the orchid stems and the two presentation bouquets for the parents, and headed to the Cologne Community Center to put the cake flowers on the cake, which was supposed to be ready for me at 9:30 AM. Unfortunately, the cake baker was just delivering the cake (in sections) when I got there, so I had to wait for her to assemble the tiers, then trim each layer with silk ribbon.  Luckily, my job took less time than hers, so I was out of there before 10 AM, and opened the shop at 10:15 AM.  I had time to sweep up my mess and put all my tools and supplies away before Al came in to make the delivery; he headed out shortly after 11:00 AM.  (The wedding was in Chaska, so the flowers were delivered even earlier than promised.)

I didn't feel at all stressed over this wedding.  I had great notes, a plan which I followed, and a list of all the details I didn't want to forget.  I finished up ahead of time, so didn't have to scramble at the end.  Even so, by the time Al returned, my body and mind had crashed.  I suddenly realized I was exhausted.  OK, so maybe the chemo contributed a little, or maybe it was 2-1/2 days of very early mornings and late evenings, but I could hardly wait until 5:00 to close up and get home.  We had a very light snack for dinner (neither of us were particularly hunger, after Jimmy John's for lunch), and I might have fallen asleep during our evening movie, if it hadn't been The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, which I thoroughly enjoyed.

I slept soundly, and didn't get up until 8:00 this morning, which felt good.  Even so, I'm still a little tired.  Glad it's a short day, and glad Marcia is coming with her acupuncture "house call" at 2:00 PM.  I could really use it about now.  Speaking of which, I'm beginning to think that her weekly treatments are what's helping me to get through the chemo so well thus far.  I'm turning into a real believer!

September 17, 2010

A little too busy to post.  Working on a wedding for tomorrow in Chaska.  Fun, though.  I'm so thankful I have the energy for this, my last wedding until after I finish treatment.

September 15, 2010

Email exchange today with my 25-year-old son:

Me:  Hi, honey.  How are you?

Steve:  I’m okay.  Some drama at work, but hopefully will make things better in the future.  How are you doing?

Me:  Very well.  This second round of chemo was pretty much side-effect free (as far as any pain, nausea, fatigue or other unpleasant effect).  I had my head buzzed, since I was getting some bald patches.  (Reminds me of when you had your head buzzed as a kid – I couldn’t stop touching your head, it felt so good.)  Pretty much wearing a wig or scarves/hats now.  But I feel great.  Next round is Monday.

Steve:  I’m glad you are doing well.  I can’t believe you are being so positive.  It is hard to worry when you make it seem like there is nothing to worry about.  I love you, Mom.

September 13, 2010

I'm afraid to say anything.

It was shortly after I said to Al, "You know, we can probably weather this recession just fine as long as neither of us loses our jobs," that I got laid off.

It was six months after I said, "We're doing OK, as long as one of us doesn't get sick," that I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

So, now I'm afraid to say anything.  I'm afraid to say that, so far, chemo is not nearly as bad as I expected it would be.  (NOTE to the Fates: I did NOT just say that!)

September 12, 2010

I'm sure everyone thinks that the reason you haven't heard from me for two days is that I've been too tired to write.  Actually, that's not the case.  So far Chemo 2 (on Wednesday afternoon) has had very little impact on me -- some mild fatigue on Friday afternoon, and that's it.  I expected to be worthless yesterday, but I felt great!  Al & I shared walleye fingers and chicken drummies from Papa Reuben's vendor wagon for lunch, and cheese curds for an afternoon snack.  I took a brief outing mid-day to see the city hall open house.  Al left me alone at the shop a couple of times while he took in the classic car show with friends.  I'm, frankly, amazed that I've felt this good.  I guess we don't really have a pattern yet with these treatments.  Maybe mayhem is still coming.

We did close up at 5:00 and head home, rather than scour the street vendors for dinner, listen to bands and watch the fireworks at the end of Broadway like we did last year.  We came home to fantastic leftovers (thanks again, Shelley), watched a little TV and caught the fireworks out of our upstairs bedroom window.  (Still the best fireworks in the SW Metro, as far as we're concerned.)

Before we settled down for the night, Al finished cleaning up the buzz job on my head.  There are definitely some bare patches up there - I look like I have the mange!  The wig was OK yesterday (and will have to be today).  It needs some trimming up in front - the bangs are so long they do a kind of swoop over my eyes, which I'm not fond of.  By the end of the day, I was anxious to take it off, but it didn't bother me too much.  I'll get used to it.

My friend, Bonny, has offered to knit me an old-fashioned cloche (maybe with a little knitted flower on the side) that I can wear at the shop during the winter.  My friend, Amy, has some scarves, turbans and another wig she's offered to let me use.  I thought I had some scarves around here somewhere, but I can't find them, so I probably did some massive cleaning out in years past that I don't remember.

But all in all, I think I have to say that I'm so far pleasantly surprised by my body's reaction to the poisons.  I hope it continues, but we just don't know till we get there.

September 10, 2010 - Bad Hair Day

Kind of a tired day today.  Al stayed with me at the shop all day, and helped me get some things done.  We put away all the chairs from last night's Carver History presentation by John von Walter.  Then (I don't know why I chose today to do this) we hooked up the new UPS and color printer we got for the shop.  I rested for awhile in grandma's rocker, and eventually 5:00 PM rolled in.

We had a great pot roast dinner waiting for us (the house smelled amazing) when we got home, although my appetite was a little down.  We watched the news, and then the Stand Up 2 Cancer special.  It was very informative and inspiring.

I noticed tonight that I was able to pull hair out easily by the handful.  We decided not to wait any longer, so Al gave me a buzz.  The only problem is, my hair is so thick (even when it's short) that the clipper ran out of charge before the job was done.  (Al said I temporarily have a mullet like Jared Allen.)  So we'll have to finish the job tomorrow morning.  Good thing the wig is already purchased, although it will probably need some trimming and shaping, so I'll be seeing my friends at the Carver Hair Salon again very soon.

September 8, 2010 - Chemo 2

Chemo 2 is behind me.  YAY!  Only 6 more to go!

I went in this afternoon for my weekly labs (they were all great - no appreciable decrease in blood cells), doctor's appointment, and then chemo treatment.

This is me getting my anti-nausea cocktail with saline, while starting to read The Girl Who Played With Fire.  It turns out my oncologist, Dr. B., is also a Steig Larsson fan.  He told me how he Googled the book, Dimensions in Mathematics (along with about a million others), because the novel peaked his interest.  Turns out the math book doesn't exist - never did.  The cited author doesn't exist, and Harvard Press (proclaimed by the novel to be the publisher) gets hundreds of requests daily for information the the non-existent math book.  If only Larsson had cited a book that actually exists, I'm sure it would have spiked sales.

I told Dr. B how, when I started The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, the first thing I did was Google the flower, Leptospermum (Myrtaceae) rubinette.  As a Master Gardener, I was curious.  It doesn't exist, either.  The Genus and species (Leptospermum Myrtaceae) exist, but not the variety 'rubinette'.

Anyway, I forced Al to take a couple of photos today, since this blog is woefully bereft of visual stimulation.  I wanted everyone to see my technician, Michelle, injecting the "cherry Kool-Aid" into my IV.  She does it over about a 15 minute period, then lets the balance of the treatment drip by itself.

I was able to get back to the shop by 2:30 and finish nine simple table centerpieces for the dinner seminar that my BNI mentor, Jason, is hosting tomorrow evening.  I would have liked to attend, but I'll be hosting my own event, that of John von Walter's presentation on Carver's Historic Downtown District.  We're hoping to have a good turnout on the eve of Steamboat Days.

Anyway, I left the shop at 5 PM to come home to a wonderful aroma in the kitchen.  Shelley had brought us a divine dinner.  It tasted soooooooo good.  So we've caught up on the news, and Mad Men, and now are watching the Twins game.  It should be an early night -- I want to get up early to spend an hour or so with Ann at the garage sale she's holding in our garage/driveway tomorrow as part of the Steamboat Days City-Wide Garage Sales.  She has some wonderful stuff!  (I know, because I've already personally shopped the garage.)

I think I'll go get some dessert and get back to the game.

September 7, 2010

I think it's going to be soon!  This morning while I was washing my hair in the shower, I came away with LOTS of hairs in my hands.  I know there's still a lot there, but I think the process has started.

Good timing.  This morning I went to a free class at Southdale Medical Center, sponsored by the American Cancer Society, called "Look Good ... Feel Better."  There were at least 10 of us (most with some female support person with them) in the class, each at various stages in the chemo process.  First, they gave us a large makeup bag filled with beauty products - cleanser, lotions, brushes, concealer, foundation, powder, blush, eye pencils, lip pencils, shadows, lipstick, gloss and mascara.

They stressed that, while no one NEEDS to wear make-up, studies have found that women feel better about themselves when they apply some makeup, and when they feel better, they heal better.  This, apparently, is particularly true when you lose your hair -- including your eyebrows and eyelashes.

So, to me, the most interesting part of the class was learning how to pencil in tasteful eyebrows when you have nothing left to guide you as to where they should go!  And also how to make it look (from a distance) like you have eyelashes, even though you don't.  (I did buy some low-key false eyelashes, but maybe I don't need to go that far.  We'll see.)

They also spent some time talking about wigs, scarves, hats and other improvised head covers.  Many women don't like to wear wigs, especially in the summer; my hair loss will go through the fall and winter months, and it's amazing what an insulator real hair is.   I'll probably need to sleep with a sleep cap on, because my head won't be used to being bare on winter nights.

Anyway, it was a fun class.  I learned some things about makeup application, but mostly I learned about what other women are going through and what they're doing about it.  It was a nice diversion.

September 6, 2010 - Happy Labor Day!

I had a pretty normal weekend.  Energy level seems good, appetite is good, and attitude is good.  My daughter, Cheryl, was in MN for the weekend, although I didn't see her a whole lot.  She came to the shop for a few hours on Friday -- brought me a Jimmy John's Vito sandwich for lunch!  She mostly spent the time with friends, and her BF Kent drove up from Council Bluffs.  They came over Sunday evening for dinner and we spent a few hours around a fire out back.  That was nice.

It was really nice to have an entire day away from the shop today.  I made breakfast, then drove Cher to the airport, stopping at Cub on the way home for some needed groceries.  After a quick, early dinner, Al & I went to the Marcus Theater in Shakopee to see Inception.  It was good -- not nearly as difficult to follow as we were led to believe, or else we totally didn't get it.  :)  I really enjoyed the half bag of cotton candy I ate; saving the rest for later.

Not exactly looking forward to Chemo 2 on Wednesday, but it reminds me of one of my mother's old adages:  "Do one thing every day that you don't want to do.  It builds character."

September 4, 2010

Labor Day Weekend.  The weather is a gift -- I love the warm (not hot or humid) days and the cool nights.  My daughter is here visiting friends this weekend, and is spending today at the State Fair.  Her birthday is Tuesday, although she's going back to CA on Monday.

The past few days have been very uneventful.  I've had plenty of energy, have been sleeping and eating well, and am gearing up for the next round, which is this coming Wednesday (due to the Labor Day holiday which took over and bumped my Monday date).

No unusual symptoms lately, although I have noticed that, while I used to be able to sleep straight through the night without having to get up, since chemo started I have to get up at least once, usually around 3:30 AM, and sometimes twice.  This is not due to increased liquid consumption, since I have not been drinking as much fluids as is recommended.  (This will need to change.)