September 26, 2010

Since I haven't posted for nearly a week, I would imagine everyone is wondering if I'm alive and well.  Yes, both.  Had a couple of tired days this week - against pattern a little bit.  Chemo Monday, tired Tuesday, OK Wednesday, tired again Thursday.  Friday and Saturday I was fine during the day, but very tired in the evening.

But, again, that's been the limit of my side effects so far this week.  No nausea, no pain.  A couple incidents of calf cramps in the middle of the night, but nothing serious.  So, once again, we remain thankful that things are going as well as they are.

This has been a weekend we've been waiting for at the shop - a convergence of the occasional shops, open air market and antiques show/sale typically make this one of our most active weekends of the year.  Thursday and Friday were fairly quiet, due to the rain.  But Saturday was quite active - we had lots of customers and had a very good day.  Today is quiet again, and we'll be leaving here around 2:00 PM to go home, watch the rest of the Vikings game, possibly the end of the Twins game (if it's not already over by then), and relax with the Sunday paper.

We have noticed more hair loss -- but still overall maybe 25% of pre-chemo.  Lately we've noticed a considerable receding frontal hairline.  The back of my head looks like our lawn after the snowcover melts in spring and you can see the tracks left by the voles.  :)

September 20, 2010 - Chemo 3

Had a very uneventful Chemo 3 day (just the way we like them).  Shelley picked me up from home at 12:45 and gave me a ride to Waconia.  We had a lovely chat along the way, about Silly Bandz, kids' sports teams, and Mom/wife situations.  She dropped me off at Ridgeview MC, where the lab didn't seem at all in a hurry to do my blood draw, but miraculously, by the time I walked across the parking lot to MN Oncology for my appointment, my results were there.

Dr. B teased me (in front of the technicians) for remarking (he said "complaining") that Chemo 2 didn't have much (he said "enough") side effects, and that I had wondered if (he said "doubted that") they had measured out the cocktail correctly.  Just for my benefit, he checked the calculation (based on height & weight, type of cancer, duration, etc.) and determined that, yes, the Chemo 2 treatment had been precisely the right mix, and my body just tolerated it well the last two weeks.  The mix for Chemo 3 was also identical.

Deb, the technician yesterday, hooked me up the the saline and pre-meds, added the two tubes of "cherry Kool-Aid), and then allowed the last bag to drip.  I progressed in my paperback (The Girl Who Played With Fire) and ate the lovely Godiva chocolate/caramel bar Al got for me.  It was delicious.

Because I got started on my treatment about a half hour earlier than normal, I had a little wait after I finished before Al got there from work to pick me up, but it was "Patient Appreciation Week" at the clinic, and they had a wonderful fruit plate as a treat for patients.  (The strawberries were huge and delicious, as was the melon and pineapple.)  So this routine works well.  There's no point in Al taking the afternoon off work to sit with me and read a magazine (it's a boring process), when I can get a ride there, read in solitary quiet, and ride home with him afterward.

We had a lovely volunteer meal, brought over my one of our many friends.  It was very good and nutritious.  It's wonderful to have so many friends who are also great cooks.  Watched the news, Rubicon and the end of the Twins game.  (I could barely stay up for the end, my eyes were so heavy.  But it was nice to see the win.)

September 19, 2010

I was soooooooooo tired last night.  I'm not sure I can attribute it to the chemo, though, since I'm at the end of my Chemo 2 cycle, and start Chemo 3 tomorrow.  I think it had everything to do with the wedding I did.  It wasn't quite as bad as weddings past, where I've been at the shop until midnight some nights.  No, I got all of things that I could lined up ahead of time.  After attending my BNI meeting from 7:00 - 9:00 AM, I ran home quick to pick something up, and discovered that the spring on our garage door broke.  I came back to open the shop and was able to get the curly willow base of the two altar arrangements all set up so adding the fresh flowers later would be quick, and I got the five bouquets assembled (except for their handle treatments) on Thursday (this between sales).  I left the shop at 5:00 PM that day, because I wanted to attend the Savvy Soiree at Rosie Posie in Prior Lake at 6:00 (to get a glimpse of what they're like, since we're hosting one on December 2).  Got home about 7:45 PM.

Friday was a busy day, because first I had to run out to two wholesalers in search of more white satin ribbon (which I had forgotten to secure long in advance as I should have).  The bride called to ask 1) would there be any orchid stems left they could use in a vase at the unity candle? (yes, two); 2) did they tell me they needed two small presentation bouquets for each of their parents? (No, but that was no problem; I'd use the green Fuji mums she had ooohhh'd over the last time she was in the shop); and 3) since the photographer wanted to start taking pictures at noon rather than 1:00, would it be possible to deliver the flowers an hour earlier? (I got a "You are so awesome" when I told her it would be no problem.)  I had to do 10 corsages and 15 boutonnieres that day, but Al was a big help when he got there at 4:30, bagging up corsages and boutonnieres and affixing their appropriate tags.  Then I made up the cake top flowers (four clusters on 2-1/2" wide ribbon squares), and finished all the bouquet handles with intricate pin-tucked ribbon secured with pearl pins.  But even so, we were only at the shop until about 7:30 PM.

Usually I can't sleep very well the night before a wedding, because I find myself waking up remembering details I had previously forgotten, and I stay semi-awake trying to keep those thoughts in my brain so they don't get forgotten again by the time I wake up.  This time I sat in front of the TV with a note pad in my lap, thinking through every detail and writing it down, so I would have a list to work from on the last morning.  That helped a lot.  I slept soundly.

I got up Saturday at 6 AM, had a quick breakfast and was at the shop by 6:30.  I finished the altar arrangements (I already had everything put together except the fresh flowers), made up the transport boxes for Al's delivery, wrapped up the orchid stems and the two presentation bouquets for the parents, and headed to the Cologne Community Center to put the cake flowers on the cake, which was supposed to be ready for me at 9:30 AM. Unfortunately, the cake baker was just delivering the cake (in sections) when I got there, so I had to wait for her to assemble the tiers, then trim each layer with silk ribbon.  Luckily, my job took less time than hers, so I was out of there before 10 AM, and opened the shop at 10:15 AM.  I had time to sweep up my mess and put all my tools and supplies away before Al came in to make the delivery; he headed out shortly after 11:00 AM.  (The wedding was in Chaska, so the flowers were delivered even earlier than promised.)

I didn't feel at all stressed over this wedding.  I had great notes, a plan which I followed, and a list of all the details I didn't want to forget.  I finished up ahead of time, so didn't have to scramble at the end.  Even so, by the time Al returned, my body and mind had crashed.  I suddenly realized I was exhausted.  OK, so maybe the chemo contributed a little, or maybe it was 2-1/2 days of very early mornings and late evenings, but I could hardly wait until 5:00 to close up and get home.  We had a very light snack for dinner (neither of us were particularly hunger, after Jimmy John's for lunch), and I might have fallen asleep during our evening movie, if it hadn't been The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, which I thoroughly enjoyed.

I slept soundly, and didn't get up until 8:00 this morning, which felt good.  Even so, I'm still a little tired.  Glad it's a short day, and glad Marcia is coming with her acupuncture "house call" at 2:00 PM.  I could really use it about now.  Speaking of which, I'm beginning to think that her weekly treatments are what's helping me to get through the chemo so well thus far.  I'm turning into a real believer!

September 17, 2010

A little too busy to post.  Working on a wedding for tomorrow in Chaska.  Fun, though.  I'm so thankful I have the energy for this, my last wedding until after I finish treatment.

September 15, 2010

Email exchange today with my 25-year-old son:

Me:  Hi, honey.  How are you?

Steve:  I’m okay.  Some drama at work, but hopefully will make things better in the future.  How are you doing?

Me:  Very well.  This second round of chemo was pretty much side-effect free (as far as any pain, nausea, fatigue or other unpleasant effect).  I had my head buzzed, since I was getting some bald patches.  (Reminds me of when you had your head buzzed as a kid – I couldn’t stop touching your head, it felt so good.)  Pretty much wearing a wig or scarves/hats now.  But I feel great.  Next round is Monday.

Steve:  I’m glad you are doing well.  I can’t believe you are being so positive.  It is hard to worry when you make it seem like there is nothing to worry about.  I love you, Mom.

September 13, 2010

I'm afraid to say anything.

It was shortly after I said to Al, "You know, we can probably weather this recession just fine as long as neither of us loses our jobs," that I got laid off.

It was six months after I said, "We're doing OK, as long as one of us doesn't get sick," that I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

So, now I'm afraid to say anything.  I'm afraid to say that, so far, chemo is not nearly as bad as I expected it would be.  (NOTE to the Fates: I did NOT just say that!)

September 12, 2010

I'm sure everyone thinks that the reason you haven't heard from me for two days is that I've been too tired to write.  Actually, that's not the case.  So far Chemo 2 (on Wednesday afternoon) has had very little impact on me -- some mild fatigue on Friday afternoon, and that's it.  I expected to be worthless yesterday, but I felt great!  Al & I shared walleye fingers and chicken drummies from Papa Reuben's vendor wagon for lunch, and cheese curds for an afternoon snack.  I took a brief outing mid-day to see the city hall open house.  Al left me alone at the shop a couple of times while he took in the classic car show with friends.  I'm, frankly, amazed that I've felt this good.  I guess we don't really have a pattern yet with these treatments.  Maybe mayhem is still coming.

We did close up at 5:00 and head home, rather than scour the street vendors for dinner, listen to bands and watch the fireworks at the end of Broadway like we did last year.  We came home to fantastic leftovers (thanks again, Shelley), watched a little TV and caught the fireworks out of our upstairs bedroom window.  (Still the best fireworks in the SW Metro, as far as we're concerned.)

Before we settled down for the night, Al finished cleaning up the buzz job on my head.  There are definitely some bare patches up there - I look like I have the mange!  The wig was OK yesterday (and will have to be today).  It needs some trimming up in front - the bangs are so long they do a kind of swoop over my eyes, which I'm not fond of.  By the end of the day, I was anxious to take it off, but it didn't bother me too much.  I'll get used to it.

My friend, Bonny, has offered to knit me an old-fashioned cloche (maybe with a little knitted flower on the side) that I can wear at the shop during the winter.  My friend, Amy, has some scarves, turbans and another wig she's offered to let me use.  I thought I had some scarves around here somewhere, but I can't find them, so I probably did some massive cleaning out in years past that I don't remember.

But all in all, I think I have to say that I'm so far pleasantly surprised by my body's reaction to the poisons.  I hope it continues, but we just don't know till we get there.

September 10, 2010 - Bad Hair Day

Kind of a tired day today.  Al stayed with me at the shop all day, and helped me get some things done.  We put away all the chairs from last night's Carver History presentation by John von Walter.  Then (I don't know why I chose today to do this) we hooked up the new UPS and color printer we got for the shop.  I rested for awhile in grandma's rocker, and eventually 5:00 PM rolled in.

We had a great pot roast dinner waiting for us (the house smelled amazing) when we got home, although my appetite was a little down.  We watched the news, and then the Stand Up 2 Cancer special.  It was very informative and inspiring.

I noticed tonight that I was able to pull hair out easily by the handful.  We decided not to wait any longer, so Al gave me a buzz.  The only problem is, my hair is so thick (even when it's short) that the clipper ran out of charge before the job was done.  (Al said I temporarily have a mullet like Jared Allen.)  So we'll have to finish the job tomorrow morning.  Good thing the wig is already purchased, although it will probably need some trimming and shaping, so I'll be seeing my friends at the Carver Hair Salon again very soon.

September 8, 2010 - Chemo 2

Chemo 2 is behind me.  YAY!  Only 6 more to go!

I went in this afternoon for my weekly labs (they were all great - no appreciable decrease in blood cells), doctor's appointment, and then chemo treatment.

This is me getting my anti-nausea cocktail with saline, while starting to read The Girl Who Played With Fire.  It turns out my oncologist, Dr. B., is also a Steig Larsson fan.  He told me how he Googled the book, Dimensions in Mathematics (along with about a million others), because the novel peaked his interest.  Turns out the math book doesn't exist - never did.  The cited author doesn't exist, and Harvard Press (proclaimed by the novel to be the publisher) gets hundreds of requests daily for information the the non-existent math book.  If only Larsson had cited a book that actually exists, I'm sure it would have spiked sales.

I told Dr. B how, when I started The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, the first thing I did was Google the flower, Leptospermum (Myrtaceae) rubinette.  As a Master Gardener, I was curious.  It doesn't exist, either.  The Genus and species (Leptospermum Myrtaceae) exist, but not the variety 'rubinette'.

Anyway, I forced Al to take a couple of photos today, since this blog is woefully bereft of visual stimulation.  I wanted everyone to see my technician, Michelle, injecting the "cherry Kool-Aid" into my IV.  She does it over about a 15 minute period, then lets the balance of the treatment drip by itself.

I was able to get back to the shop by 2:30 and finish nine simple table centerpieces for the dinner seminar that my BNI mentor, Jason, is hosting tomorrow evening.  I would have liked to attend, but I'll be hosting my own event, that of John von Walter's presentation on Carver's Historic Downtown District.  We're hoping to have a good turnout on the eve of Steamboat Days.

Anyway, I left the shop at 5 PM to come home to a wonderful aroma in the kitchen.  Shelley had brought us a divine dinner.  It tasted soooooooo good.  So we've caught up on the news, and Mad Men, and now are watching the Twins game.  It should be an early night -- I want to get up early to spend an hour or so with Ann at the garage sale she's holding in our garage/driveway tomorrow as part of the Steamboat Days City-Wide Garage Sales.  She has some wonderful stuff!  (I know, because I've already personally shopped the garage.)

I think I'll go get some dessert and get back to the game.

September 7, 2010

I think it's going to be soon!  This morning while I was washing my hair in the shower, I came away with LOTS of hairs in my hands.  I know there's still a lot there, but I think the process has started.

Good timing.  This morning I went to a free class at Southdale Medical Center, sponsored by the American Cancer Society, called "Look Good ... Feel Better."  There were at least 10 of us (most with some female support person with them) in the class, each at various stages in the chemo process.  First, they gave us a large makeup bag filled with beauty products - cleanser, lotions, brushes, concealer, foundation, powder, blush, eye pencils, lip pencils, shadows, lipstick, gloss and mascara.

They stressed that, while no one NEEDS to wear make-up, studies have found that women feel better about themselves when they apply some makeup, and when they feel better, they heal better.  This, apparently, is particularly true when you lose your hair -- including your eyebrows and eyelashes.

So, to me, the most interesting part of the class was learning how to pencil in tasteful eyebrows when you have nothing left to guide you as to where they should go!  And also how to make it look (from a distance) like you have eyelashes, even though you don't.  (I did buy some low-key false eyelashes, but maybe I don't need to go that far.  We'll see.)

They also spent some time talking about wigs, scarves, hats and other improvised head covers.  Many women don't like to wear wigs, especially in the summer; my hair loss will go through the fall and winter months, and it's amazing what an insulator real hair is.   I'll probably need to sleep with a sleep cap on, because my head won't be used to being bare on winter nights.

Anyway, it was a fun class.  I learned some things about makeup application, but mostly I learned about what other women are going through and what they're doing about it.  It was a nice diversion.

September 6, 2010 - Happy Labor Day!

I had a pretty normal weekend.  Energy level seems good, appetite is good, and attitude is good.  My daughter, Cheryl, was in MN for the weekend, although I didn't see her a whole lot.  She came to the shop for a few hours on Friday -- brought me a Jimmy John's Vito sandwich for lunch!  She mostly spent the time with friends, and her BF Kent drove up from Council Bluffs.  They came over Sunday evening for dinner and we spent a few hours around a fire out back.  That was nice.

It was really nice to have an entire day away from the shop today.  I made breakfast, then drove Cher to the airport, stopping at Cub on the way home for some needed groceries.  After a quick, early dinner, Al & I went to the Marcus Theater in Shakopee to see Inception.  It was good -- not nearly as difficult to follow as we were led to believe, or else we totally didn't get it.  :)  I really enjoyed the half bag of cotton candy I ate; saving the rest for later.

Not exactly looking forward to Chemo 2 on Wednesday, but it reminds me of one of my mother's old adages:  "Do one thing every day that you don't want to do.  It builds character."

September 4, 2010

Labor Day Weekend.  The weather is a gift -- I love the warm (not hot or humid) days and the cool nights.  My daughter is here visiting friends this weekend, and is spending today at the State Fair.  Her birthday is Tuesday, although she's going back to CA on Monday.

The past few days have been very uneventful.  I've had plenty of energy, have been sleeping and eating well, and am gearing up for the next round, which is this coming Wednesday (due to the Labor Day holiday which took over and bumped my Monday date).

No unusual symptoms lately, although I have noticed that, while I used to be able to sleep straight through the night without having to get up, since chemo started I have to get up at least once, usually around 3:30 AM, and sometimes twice.  This is not due to increased liquid consumption, since I have not been drinking as much fluids as is recommended.  (This will need to change.)